Is it tacky to have family and friends help with catering my wedding?
Ashleigh Schmid asked:
My Fiance and I are on a small budget. We are getting this November. We don’t think we have the money for a caterer, is it tacky to have family and friends help out by bringing covered dishes, our should I keep looking for a caterer?
Gabriella
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My Fiance and I are on a small budget. We are getting this November. We don’t think we have the money for a caterer, is it tacky to have family and friends help out by bringing covered dishes, our should I keep looking for a caterer?
Gabriella
November 20th, 2011 at 10:45 am
Brian
Not at all! In fact, I just published an article about budget-friendly solutions for your wedding reception! You can see it here:
I have lots of other advice for saving on every aspect of your wedding, too, at
Congratulations, and GOOD LUCK!
November 23rd, 2011 at 8:12 pm
Jasmine
If you make it a potluck you have to make sure that people know not to bring gifts. Asking people to basically finance your wedding and give you gifts is tacky. Having a backyard potluck reception is a really nice way to celebrate your family. Just be sure to walk the line and spread the word.
November 25th, 2011 at 7:56 am
Adam
A lot depends on the culture and traditions where you live, because in most places this is considered tacky. I’m in DC metro area and I’d be stunned to get an invite like this. But in some places, it’s more acceptable.
However, there are things you can do to make it nicer. The biggest problem is if you invite too many people. Potlucks, by definition, are small events and if you’re inviting 100 people, this looks like you’re throwing a party you can’t afford and therefore it’s gift grabby. Twenty five people is a different matter. Also, for larger groups, these are not easy to organize. You’d need to have some kind of pre-set idea of a menu, and then you’d need to know what each guest is bringing.
So I say it’s ok only if this is a small wedding and you’re willing to organize it so that your guests have a complete menu. Also you, as host, should provide the main course. It could be something as simple as barbecued chicken from the grocery store, or even better, getting some meat by the pound from a local barbecue place. Then the guests would help with appetizers and side dishes.
November 25th, 2011 at 3:20 pm
Destiny
I deffinitly don’t think its tacky. If you have friends and family that are willing to help out then that helps you save alot of money. My fiancée and i are getting married next September and we are going to be on a kinda tight budget so we are going to try to save everywhere we can. Plus its your day so who cares what people think they will appreciate you just inviting them to your wedding and sharing your big day with them. Congratulations:)
November 28th, 2011 at 4:29 am
Jasmine
If you sent out the invite saying bring a plate it might seem a little odd. But if you get a number of friends and family to help you put the thing together, that’s cool. It’s how weddings were traditionally done. Make sure you have a nice thankyou for everyone who helps you though!
November 29th, 2011 at 3:36 am
Luke
You can’t have a potluck wedding. Your guests are bringing you $$$ wedding gifts, you can’t also ask them to bring their own food. You pay a caterer up front and then count up your gift money after the fact to replenish your savings. Just have cake and coffee, that should only cost $10-20 per person but you have to hire a caterer to bring all the servingware, urns, and cut the cake nicely.
December 2nd, 2011 at 2:55 am
Owen
Extremely. If you can’t feed them, don’t invite them. Period. You cannot host an event and expect/ask people to bring things, that’s crass. Just host the number of people you can afford to feed well.
Good luck!
December 4th, 2011 at 2:57 pm
Brayden
Yes..it is tacky to ask guests to bring food.
December 7th, 2011 at 10:07 am
Alexa
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with having A FEW of the wedding guests–family and very close friends–bring dishes. Most small church congregations operate like this–the women of the church always bring a covered dish to a wedding.
I have been to lots of weddings like this and don’t see anything wrong with it as long as the request isn’t spread to every guest, or even to most of the guests. Not everyone wants to spend 30 grand and have a fancy caterer, and not everyone can afford it.
P.S. I’m assuming, by the way, that your wedding is small–not 750 people, for example–and the other elements of it will be simple and modest. Don’t wear a Vera Wang gown and then ask Aunt Karen and Aunt Debby to cater the reception, in other words. LOL